Each of us are drawn to the truth of the gospel in a way that is unique to our personality and the way we are wired. For some, the Spirit appeals to an individual’s sense of reason, while for others there is more of felt need for God’s love through the gospel. Some have unwavering faith from the moment they believe, while some are like Thomas; more inclined to have doubts.
This Easter season I have had the luxury of time to reflect on my spiritual journey. By nature, I am much like Thomas and am inclined to doubt. In making significant decisions, I develop elaborate spreadsheets, analyzing each potential option along with their financial or personal implications and repercussions. In life decisions, I also develop comparisons, weighing each consideration and option. Once a decision is made, I still tend to second (or third or fourth) guess my decision. Although, it may be hard to believe, given my wife’s angelic qualities, I even had reservations about marrying her and then more than once questioned the wisdom of my decision. (Cathie: “Silly Steve. He had no choice!”)
As you can guess, this approach to decision-making has its limitations and I envy those who have a more intuitive approach to decision-making. I praise God that he understands my quirky personality and has patiently worked in my heart and mind to provide rational evidence as to the person and deity of Christ.
While having a reasonable basis for our faith satisfies our need for a rational basis to believe, the reality of Easter is that Christ died and was resurrected so that we could have a deep and intimate relation with him. In this time of self-isolation, I have been able to deepen my relationship with God through a concerted focus on thanksgiving, reflecting on the nature of God, and his overwhelming and passionate love for me and his desire to transform me by mending my brokenness and making me into the beautiful creature He designed me to be—his Poema or masterpiece.
Through all of this, I have had just a “foretaste of Glory Divine” and such a foretaste gives me a vision of a deeper, richer, and more loving relation with the Creator of the universe—today, tomorrow, and forever. Fortunately, even I can’t really put this “foretaste” into words, much less a spreadsheet.
May the Peace of Christ be with you,
Steve Hill, elder