Oh me, oh my-oh
Look at Miss Ohio
She’s a-running around with her rag-top down
She says, I want to do right but not right now…
~ Gillian Welch, “Look at Miss Ohio” on Soul Journey ~
“Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.”
~ Jonah 2:8 ~
You know that feeling you get when you want to do something you shouldn’t? Or you know the right way to go but you want to go the wrong way because the wrong way seems so appealing, dangerous, exciting, delicious, forbidden… like the fruit in the garden. Often it seems that I am one button click away from a misstep, one word or sentence away from saying something I know will hurt, anger, aggravate; one wrong turn away from going down a road which leads to a place I know well, a place I both hate and love in a twisted broken sort of way.
So why do I do these things and take these missteps? What is it I am really after? Sometimes it’s not so easy to answer this question but it is generally a no brainer that the taking of the misstep will definitely NOT take me where I want to go. In fact, it generally leads to a place I know well; a place of pain, brokenness, isolation, and damaged trust. Truthfully, this behavior is no less than a modern-day form of idolatry, a 21st century form of bowing down to some 21st century cow in order to get something or control something. And as it was back then it is now… I lose. Every time!
Sometimes the evidence presents itself straight away as I end up deep in the mire and the muck. And other times, it takes quite a while to realize that the misstep has taken me, slowly by small degree, far from where I wanted to go. O, how the heart approaches what it yearns. Thankfully, I belong to the Lord and have been created to walk in communion with him. And graciously, he never ceases to draw me to himself and I fully trust that one day my wayward path will find me at rest and at home with him. Until that day, Lord, may my steps be true and the longing in my heart follow after You.
Rob Schmidt, pastor of worship and arts